In this article you’re going to learn the most powerful, potent and effective strategies to learn How to Make a Woman Orgasm.
When it comes to becoming a truly unforgettable lover there isn’t just one cool trick or technique you need to know.
- 1 How to Make a Woman Orgasm in 5 Simple Steps
- 2 Orgasm Strategy #1: Master Sexual Tension And Foreplay To Create Intense Lust
- 3 Orgasm Strategy #2: Give Her Permission To Orgasm
- 4 Orgasm Strategy #3: Be Present
- 5 Orgasm Strategy #4: Become Her Master And Lead Her To Orgasm
- 6 Orgasm Strategy #5: Unleash Your Passion
- 7 Conclusion
How to Make a Woman Orgasm in 5 Simple Steps
Sure there are some very specific orgasm techniques that I’ll be sharing later that can stand on their own feet and provide incredible pleasure for a woman. However if you want to be an outstanding lover… The kind of lover a woman will never forget and keep begging for more sex from… Then you’re going to want to pay close attention on how to approach all the knowledge I’m about to share with you.
Before starting check out my video about how to make a woman orgasm:
This is going to be a long article, so lets start with the first strategy to give any woman intense orgasms.
Orgasm Strategy #1: Master Sexual Tension And Foreplay To Create Intense Lust
Becoming a master of sexual tension gives you the power to unlock incredible pleasure in your woman.
Unfortunately most men do the exact opposite of what is necessary to create sexual tension (and therefore powerful orgasms in women), but here I’m going to show exactly what to do to make sure you never make that mistake. Firstly:
What is sexual tension?
In its simplest form sexual tension is when someone wants a form of sexual pleasure but they can’t have it.
You’ve probably noticed the sexual tension in a lot of movies (especially chick flicks) where two people are wanting to begin a relationship or kiss, but something, like their backgrounds or current relationships, stops them from doing so.
This thing holding them back from what they want creates sexual tension.
Now what makes sexual tension so special is that the more of if there is, the greater the pleasure is experienced when it’s finally released.
Think about it in terms of movies. If the lead man and woman kissed at the very start of the film, there would be no sexual tension and you as the viewer probably wouldn’t care at all about the kiss… It would just be a meaningless kiss.
But say the lead man and woman met at the start of the movie, but they were from two different backgrounds and the context in which they met, for example, teacher and student, made it inappropriate for them to kiss or get together even though they wanted to.
They find themselves coming into contact with each other continuously throughout the movie, but there’s always that something stopping them from getting together and kissing.
And they have a few arguments and challenges throughout the film, etc. Then finally at the end of the movie they overcome their challenges and differences and embrace by kissing and starting a relationship.
How much more significant, meaningful and pleasurable was that concluding kiss vs. a kiss at the start of a film?
Dramatically more significant. And the reason it is so much more significant is because of sexual tension.
Of course movie producers have known this for years and that’s why this type of story is so common.
But can you say you’ve been using the power of sexual tension during sex to enhance pleasure? If you’re like most guys then I’m guessing not.
You see, just like movie producers use sexual tension to increase the significance and pleasure of kiss in a movie like I just explained, you can use sexual tension to increase the pleasure your woman experiences.
And the way to do it is with teasing.
But most men when it comes to foreplay and sex use no teasing whatsoever and instead try to progress as fast as possible.
They stroke a woman’s hair for a bit, kiss her for a bit, grab her breasts for a bit, then try and initiate sex as soon as possible.
As you can probably tell this creates no sexual tension.
It leaves your woman with nothing to look forward to and therefore nothing to get excited about because you’re moving so fast.
So when it finally comes to sex there is no release of tension and minimal pleasure for her.
By skipping through the stages of foreplay as fast as possible you create no sexual tension and in no way enhance her pleasure.
How to Create Sexual Tension During Foreplay
Remember that sexual tension happens when someone wants some type of sexual pleasure, but can’t have it.
So to create it, you need to briefly show your woman some form of pleasure… And then take it away.
Think of it like teasing. Let me give you an example…
Say you’re at the stage of foreplay where you’re stimulating some of her yellow pleasure zones, for example, you’re passionately kissing her and her neck, but you want to progress to touching her breasts…
The “normal” way to progress would be to just start touching her breasts when you think she’s ready.
But the problem with this method of progress is that it creates no sexual tension, because you’re giving her what she wants straight away.
If in this situation you were to instead use teasing as follows you’d be able to create some powerful sexual tension…
So you’re kissing her lips and neck passionately and you’re ready to progress to touching her breasts.
What you should do is lightly touch around her breasts, being sure to avoid the nipples, then remove your hand and go back to focusing on kissing her on the lips and neck.
From this tiny action she’ll have just got a feeling like you were going to touch her nipples, so she’ll start to feel a little sexual tension because she would like you to touch her nipples, but you haven’t.
Then after a little while you should go back to lightly touch around her nipples for a little longer, perhaps stroking light circles around her nipples, after which you withdraw your hand again.
Now she knows for sure you’re thinking of touching her nipples and starts to get excited about the pleasure she would feel, but because you’re not actually touching the nipples yet you’ve created sexual tension.
You can repeat this process a few times, each time making it look more and more like you’re actually going to touch her nipples.
How to Get Her Excited All the Time
And every time you do this she will get more and more excited, because she feels more and more like you’re actually going to touch them, but because you don’t the sexual tension is only increased more and more.
Finally when you’ve really ramped up her anticipation for you to touch her nipples you can go ahead and touch it.
And if you really want to tease her you can touch her nipple only briefly then withdraw to circling her nipple again.
This will really drive her wild, because she’ll be dying for the satisfaction of full nipple stimulation and you’ll have created even more sexual tension.
This way when you finally do go to fully stimulate her nipples, whether that be with your fingers or with your mouth, the pleasure she will experience will be 10x more intense because it’ll represent a huge release of tension.
This process of intentionally creating sexual tension is very very powerful.
Another way to look at it is like taking 2 steps forward and 1 step back.
You show her some of the pleasure she could get, but then make her wait for it.
It’s incredibly effective for arousing a woman and you can and should use it at several stages throughout foreplay.
5 Ways to Tease to Make a Woman Orgasm
Feel free to pick whichever pleasure zones you choose to apply it to, but I find the following work particularly well…
- Try teasing her from light to more passionate kissing
- Nipple stimulation as described above is a great way to tease
- Touching of her vagina / clitoris by slowly moving your hands above it and towards it, then withdrawing and slowly moving your hands along her inner thighs towards her vagina and then withdrawing, overall gradually getting closer and closer
- Teasing the start of intercourse in a similar way as teasing the touching of her vagina / clitoris in number 3
- Once having started sex thrusting in and out no more than half an inch and very gradually building up depth… Creating the sexual tension and desire for full thrusting (Note: This may take some self control!)
After a bit of practice in this and using it at several stages during foreplay you can get your woman unbelievably horny for you.
If you use this method well you can have your woman shaking with sexual tension.
If you’re patient enough and tease her well you can even have her begging for you to put it in.
It’s incredibly powerful and effective to get her aroused and it puts you in control.
And the real bonus of using sexual tension and teasing is that she will often orgasm within minutes if not seconds of sex if done right, because the act of sex will represent such a huge release of sexual tension.
And if on top of that you use all the other techniques and strategies I’m going to teach you How to Make a Woman Orgasm.
You can deliver some truly mind-blowing pleasure.
Orgasm Strategy #2: Give Her Permission To Orgasm
Some women find it incredibly easy to orgasm… others do not.
Whether the woman you’re with finds it easy or not, this is a very important chapter for you to read, because what you’ll learn here you will need not only to give a woman her first orgasm, but also to allow her to experience more intense levels of pleasure she probably feared to experience in the past.
You see, for many women, fear plays a huge role in their ability to experience an orgasm (or a more intense orgasm).
How to Gain Her Trust
To women an orgasm means letting go of all control… And this means putting a lot of trust in you as the person who she is letting go with.
Many women fear what they will look like during sex, some will fear what facial expression they will pull, some fear the sheer act of letting go of control emotionally, others fear being rejected because of doing something weird.
Some fear it because they’ve never done it before and some fear that letting go and experiencing that orgasm might cause them to do something that would scare their man away.
The bottom line is that a woman is putting a lot on the line when she orgasms with you and to some women, the way they see it, it’s just not worth the risk.
So you have to give them permission to experience that orgasm and you have to create the trust so that she can know with 100% certainty that nothing bad will come of letting go of full control with you.
And the first step to doing this is to demonstrate to her that you can be trusted to experience an orgasm and let go of control with.
How to Truly Accept Her
If you’ve got some expectations of how she’s supposed to be and act during sex and if you criticize her during sex then she will not trust to experience an orgasm with you.
If you’re judgmental during sex she will fear to let go and experience full pleasure with you, because she won’t want the potential pain of you criticizing her.
You have to be 100% accepting of how she is during sex.
And you can’t fake this.
You genuinely have to believe this to understand how to make a woman orgasm.
Your woman can read you completely. If even part of you is judgmental during sex she will see it in your facial expression and she will close down her potential for orgasm.
So step one is fully accepting her and allowing her to be her true self – judgment free – with you during sex.
The second step is the pro-active approach of positive encouragement (or positive reinforcement).
What this means is complimenting and encouraging the type of behaviors you want her to experience.
(This can work for a lot of things besides getting her to experience more sexual pleasure by the way)
So if for example you want her to experience her first orgasm, then you need to positively encourage and reward her for demonstrating and experiencing pleasure.
One of the main reasons a woman doesn’t want to orgasm (unconsciously of course – consciously she’ll tell herself she does) is because of fear that something bad will happen if she does.
By providing her with positive reinforcement and encouragement you slowly replace that fear with positive expectancy.
By continually and consistently providing that positive feedback to her feeling pleasure and at the same time making sure she knows she can trust you she will slowly become more and more open to experiencing an orgasm with you.
How to Encourage Her for Pleasure
Let me give you an example to clarify what I’m saying… Say you want your woman to experience her first orgasm.
To provide positive encouragement during sex you could do any of the following…
• Wait for her to show some sign of pleasure and say “I love when you let go with me”
• Notice when she’s wet and say “I love when you cum all over my #@&%”
• When you’re giving her oral sex and she’s enjoying it “I love making you feel good baby”
Do you get the idea?
What you’re doing is making her feel good about experiencing pleasure.
In her head you want her to feel like the best thing she can do is totally let go with you.
You want her to feel incredibly good about letting go and feel like you will appreciate her so much for doing so.
Women (and men for that matter) want nothing more to be loved and the only reason she’ll be limiting her pleasure is because of the irrational fear that letting go and experiencing more will somehow cause her to lose that love.
Show her that by letting go with you, she can gain a ton more love, affection and appreciation so she’s got every reason to do it.
And all it takes is consistent encouragement and soon she’ll be climaxing multiple times during sex.
Orgasm Strategy #3: Be Present
Have you ever heard a woman talk about how she feels when her man looks her in the eyes and she feels like the only woman in the world to him?
If you have, you’ll know that it’s one the most incredible experiences a woman can have.
So imagine what it’s like to give her that feeling during sex.
The effects are nothing short of breath-taking.
It’s essential that during sex you give a woman the feeling like your sole focus in the world in that moment is her.
And you don’t have to be at the stage in a relationship where you’re “in love” with the woman to do this (although it’s even more powerful when you are).
Remember that emotion is 10x more effective in giving a woman pleasure than just the physical or visual.
And that’s exactly what presence is all about.
How to Keep Her Mind Clear
“Being present” with a woman means having your full focus and attention on her.
Nothing should be in your mind but her if you want to master how to make a woman orgasm
As a man this could mean going against what comes natural to you, because most men are goal orientated creatures often focusing on the future to complete the next task or achieve the next goal…
In foreplay we’ll often be focusing on trying to make sex happen and during sex we’ll often be focusing on trying to get her to orgasm and then us to orgasm.
This constant focus on the future is the exact opposite of being present.
A woman just wants you to be there with her in the moment during foreplay and sex.
She wants to feel like there’s no one in the world but her.
And, like I said, you don’t have to be at the stage of a relationships where you’re “in love” to be present with a woman.
It’s just a matter of putting your focus in that moment on her.
How to Completely Lose Yourself in the Experience of Her
All it takes is relaxing, taking a deep breath and noticing things about your woman that you weren’t focusing on before.
This is one of those strategies that won’t work if you fake
it, because she will know if you are…
But there’s really no need to fake it anyway, because when you make a conscious effort it’s so easy to allow yourself to just fall into the present moment and focus on her.
The power of this strategy on unlocking a woman’s ability to orgasm is extraordinary.
It’s also a great way to give her permission to orgasm (Orgasm Strategy #2), because by being present you demonstrate your trustworthiness (because you can’t be judgmental in the present moment) and you encourage her to orgasm because you’re clearly demonstrating to her how good it feels to have sex with her if it’s caused you to drop into the present moment.
Orgasm Strategy #4: Become Her Master And Lead Her To Orgasm
To be the kind of guy who gives a woman intense orgasms consistently you must become a leader in the bedroom.
A woman orgasming is in many ways a sign of submission.
Through orgasm a woman submits herself completely to the man she’s with.
So if you’re not her master and leader in the bedroom, she’s going to be much less inclined submit to you in orgasm.
On top of that women are also incredibly attracted to men who demonstrate leadership qualities…
And of course it’s much easier to turn on and give a woman an orgasm if she’s highly attracted to you.
So if you haven’t been taking the lead in bed in the past then now is the time to make that change.
How to Lead Her in Bed
And as you’ll learn in this article, being a leader doesn’t have to be a daunting experience.
In fact the reason most men are scared to lead, is because they have misconceptions of what it means to lead in the bedroom…
When in fact if you lead during sex in the right way it is one of the best and most fun things you can do.
Firstly, when it comes to leading realize that women want you to lead.
Like I’ve already explained, there are many reasons why you should be leading during sex, but most importantly women deep down desire a man who takes the lead during sex.
During sex women will be worrying about all kinds of things like “am I doing this right?”, “what is he thinking?”, “will he like this?”, “am I being too open?”, “is he going to think I’m weird for wanting this particular sexual thing?”, etc.
With all these worries it’s pretty unlikely she is going to be the one to take the risk and lead.
And that’s why she wants you to do it.
To have great sex and be an unforgettable lover you have to become the leader and be willing to take the risks that come with being a leader.
Now of course in being the leader you might suggest to do something she doesn’t like, a position she doesn’t approve of, or something too “dirty” for her, but that’s all part of being a leader and you’ll never know until you try.
Many men fear this potential rejection and as a result become very feminine in the bedroom, saying timid and submissive things like “Is it OK if we do this?”, “Do you mind if we do this?”, “Do you like this?”, etc.
How to Handle the Fear of Rejection
Although all these things are said with total positive intention and the desire to make her feel good, they actually accomplish the exact opposite of making her feel good.
In acting timid, submissive and uncertain you communicate to her that you are not a leader and therefore her attraction and desire to submit in orgasm diminishes.
You might even have noticed in the past how a woman’s body language completely shifts to the negative if you say (in a submissive manner) something like “Are you OK?” or “Are you enjoying this?” at a time during sex when there’s no real need for comments like this.
If you want to be the kind of man who gives women intense orgasms it’s time to overcome your fear of being a leader.
And the truth is there’s really nothing to fear.
Even if you take a step forward and try something that hasn’t been tried before and she doesn’t like it or says “no” that’s OK.
Although she may not want that particular thing she hasn’t rejected you…
In fact she’ll respect you more for having taken the lead and will enjoy whatever else you do with her.
How to Become a Leader in Bed
So now that you know there’s nothing to fear in being the leader, let’s get specific on exactly what it means to be a leader in the bedroom…
Being the leader in the bedroom means being dominant.
It means being comfortable with letting out that animal side of you that wants to take control.
It means becoming the one that’s in control of her pleasure.
One specific way to take control of her pleasure (besides just assuming it psychologically) is to use the kind of teasing I showed you in Orgasm Strategy #1.
This type of teasing communicates deep with her subconscious that you’re the leader and in control, because only a true leader would have the balls to tease a woman that way.
Being a leader also means taking the initiative and moving things forward when the time is right.
Ever heard the expression: “It’s better to beg for forgiveness than to ask for permission”?
Well this is a great analogy for what being a leader in the bedroom is all about.
But please read the following section all the way through before you put this idea into action or raise any objections, because I need to explain the whole thing for it to make sense and make sure you know where the line is.
OK, so what the above expression means is instead of first asking for permission to do something, for example “can we do doggy style?”, “can you please give me oral”, “is it OK if we do anal sex?”, etc…
You confidently propose or gradually just begin doing whatever you want to do and respond to her reactions.
How to Ask for Permission or Leading Her into it?
Say you want to try a new position like doggy style…
A person who isn’t showing leadership and dominance would probably say something like “Is it OK if we do doggy style?” in a submissive way and would then wait for her reaction.
But a person showing leadership and dominance would instead either…
Gradually change positions so that it would be easy to smoothly transition into doggy style without having to ask, for example he could go into the spooning position (when both of you lie on your side, with the man entering from behind) and then shift to doggy style from there, all the time subtly observing her to see if she’s comfortable with it…
A leader would say in a confident and assertive way (with a tone that assumes she will like it) “I want to f*** you doggy style” or “I’m going to f*** you doggy style” and then move forward to do it while subtly observing her reactions to see if she has any objections.
Now let me clarify that if a leader started transitioning to doggy style or said something like “I’m going to do you doggy style” there is a chance that the woman he’s with would stop him and say “no”.
And if she does… that’s totally cool. just stop and not carry on.
Do not take it personal or anything. Just go back to what you were doing before making the move.
And if the leader had made the move with 100% authenticity and really genuinely felt confident about it, his woman wouldn’t think less of him for trying.
(NOTE: In the doggy style example above I’ve used a very specific situation to help illustrate my point, but when demonstrating leadership skills it’s important to be 100% authentic and congruent.
If say you had been very submissive all throughout foreplay and sex and then suddenly you try and act dominant when you want to try doggy style you’re going to come across inauthentic and probably weird.
The purpose of the example above was not to give you a “technique for doing doggy style” but instead to demonstrate to you how a dominant leader acts so you can emulate it in all aspects of sex. Like I said, you have to be congruent, or else the approach won’t work)
Now that you know why and how to show dominance, hopefully you recognize that displaying and genuinely feeling this type of leadership in the bedroom is not hard to do.
Forget about any anxiety you may have about being dominant and just remember that she wants you to be the leader and be dominant.
How to Accept the Challenge
One thing to be aware of if you’ve been submissive for a long time is that she may challenge or “test” your new leadership qualities.
She may claim you’re acting strange, say something to throw you off or in some other way “test” you, because she wants to (subconsciously) know if these new displays of leadership and dominance are really you or if you’re just acting weird.
Whatever you do, DO NOT LET THESE TESTS BREAK YOU.
They are just that… “tests”.
She is testing you, because she wants to know deep down that this new dominant leader is the real you.
If you act dominant and then when she says “why are you acting so different?” to test you and you say “oh sorry, I didn’t mean to” in a submissive way, then you’ve just failed the test and she won’t genuinely believe your new dominance.
If you keep 100% authentically believing you’re dominant and have faith that being the leader is the right thing then you will naturally pass the tests and she will accept you as the new leader in the bedroom and be much more likely to submit to you in orgasm.
Now if you are a very shy guy or have been submissive during sex with the same person for a very long time you may not get this whole “being dominant and the leader” thing perfectly first time.
And if that’s the case… don’t worry about it.
Just remember… The aim is not to act like the leader.
The aim is to genuinely believe you are and ultimately be the leader.
And in this chapter I’ve given you all the reasons why you should go ahead and be the leader and exactly How to Make a Woman Orgasm, so if you’re still unsure then go back and re-read it, because when the woman you’re with really feels like you’re in charge… It’ll be easy to get her to orgasm.
Orgasm Strategy #5: Unleash Your Passion
Before I move on to talking about the specific step-by- step techniques on how to make a woman orgasm.
Because as you learn techniques it can be easy to get caught up in the mechanics of them.
As you learn particular techniques for pleasuring a woman you may find yourself concentrating harder on performing the techniques than just being your woman.
And it’s essential you don’t make this mistake.
You don’t want to become some mindless sexual robot.
As I’ve repeated countless times… Women are turned on by emotion.
As powerful as a certain physical technique may be, if you’re not there in the present moment sharing that experience with her then you’re not really giving her ultimate pleasure.
Women know if you’re present and if you’re truly passionate and excited about sex…
And it deeply affects their pleasure levels.
So as we transition into the more “nuts and bolts” of great sex, never forget to maintain that passion throughout the whole of sex.
And if that means messing up some technique or orgasming early because you’re so busy enjoying your time together then don’t worry about it.
I’m sure the woman you’re with won’t care about it if you’ve been sure to take the time to embrace all the other orgasm strategies I’ve talked about above.
How to Learn to be Passionate
Now if you’re a guy who doesn’t naturally show a lot of passion you may find this particular orgasm strategy difficult.
For many years society has conditioned men to always want to be in control and never look stupid.
Learning to be passionate is very much like learning to become a leader in the bedroom…
It’s really just a matter of realizing that being passionate and accepting your emotions is a great thing and is something women love.
How to Learn to Let Yourself Go
The main reason men will sometimes fear “letting go” in the bedroom and being passionate is because they think it’s “wrong” as a man to do it or they think that their woman will somehow think they’re weird.
But the opposite is true.
Women love to see that emotion in you so you’ve got no reason to want to cover it up with cold “in control” image.
When you accept that you’re 10x better off unleashing your passion in the bedroom than trying to control your emotion and be rigid, that’s when she’ll begin to truly love having sex with you… And on top that you will start enjoying sex a lot more too.
So here are some of the few tips on how to make a woman orgasm.
If you want to learn more about female orgasm, I strongly recommend reading my article How to Pleasure a Woman.
There are specific physical techniques to learn and there are powerful emotional stimulation strategies to learn as well. So, I’ve created a guide that walks through all of these steps in exact and specific detail.
It covers everything you need to know about how to pleasure a woman in bed and give her intense multiple orgasms almost every time you have sex.
The name of this guide is Orgasm Advisor.
Orgasm Advisor is a downloadable guide and inside it, I reveal all the secrets for being able to give women intense multiple orgasms, destroy your sexual fears and anxieties, transform your sexual confidence and ultimately attract and keep the woman of your dreams. Basically this the book you need if you want to learn all the secrets about how to give a woman orgasm.
Author: Randy Rochester
As a professional psychotherapist and relationship coach, Randy has been helping couples for years. He had spent over a decade researching and writing about sexual issues and created Orgasm Advisor to help others who are in need to have healthier life.